A Very Ancient Library

8th April 2015Leave a comment

I haven’t been to the library for ages. That doesn’t mean I’m not writing. I am and it’s going very well, thanks for asking, despite having two children home for the Easter holiday.

Don’t bother asking how the parenting is going. I find it impossible to be a focused, prolific writer and a good parent at exactly the same time. Some would say I’m never a good parent (my daughter for example) but the word ‘good’ is subjective , don’t you think?

Anyway – the library. I miss it. But the library won’t give my dog a library card so I’ve been writing at home. The great news is I’ve finally got over my ‘I can’t write at home when there are people around’ hang up and am well over 10,000 words in 10 days so I’m obviously doing something right.

Today I wandered into the Bishopsgate Library for twenty minutes because I was early for my regular appointment. It’s usually pretty quiet.

It’s a fusty sort of place. A bit like the bank in Mary Poppins. The books are mostly behind locked glass cupboards and there are no windows, only a gorgeous stained glass dome that casts a yellowy light over the library.

The radiators are in the middle of the room and during the Winter there is a bum scrum for the seat nearest the heat. It might be a little old fashioned, but there is still something comforting about the old books and the weight of learning that could go on there if only you had the key to unlock the cabinets.

But I got a bit of a shock today. The library was busy. Nearly every seat taken by someone with a laptop or a mountain of fat textbooks. The tables were littered with files and notebooks covered in highlighter pen and sticky post it tabs reminding the owner of important information according to a strict colour code.

Writing at home with my dog by my side, I had completely forgotten, it is now revision season. Anyone studying has exams coming up and anyone studying rushes to the library to make it look like they are working hard. The people at Bishopsgate probably were. In Peckham library there is a flood of GCSE students sent home on study leave at this time of year and unfortunately they don’t respect the tradition that libraries are supposed to be quiet.

I manage to find myself a seat among the students at Bishopsgate, although I noticed no one asked the librarian for the key to any of the cupboards so I couldn’t help wondering – did anyone learn anything new today?

Shall I enter Britain’s Got Talent?

24th March 201515th May 2016Leave a comment

I’ve been thinking it might be a good idea to enter Britain’s Got Talent so that I can use the prize money to help out my family and the kind people that helped rescue me – Allsorts Dog Rescue near Brighton and Animal Heaven Animal Rescue in Ireland.

Pudsey won Britain’s Got Talent, but he had his human with him on stage. I was thinking of entering on my own, but I’m not sure which of my many talents I should use on TV.

This week I have been practicing ballet. This is me trying out jete (jumping) using the kitchen counter as a barre.

After all that leaping about, I had to stretch my aching muscles.

Do you think I stand any chance of winning Britains Got Talent with my ballet? Or should I try something else?

I Love Presents Made by Anita Loughrey

19th March 201515th May 2016Leave a comment

Dear Anita,

Thank you so much for the lovely gloves you knitted Mum for her birthday. They were particularly delicious. Well, one of them was. I didn’t get a chance to eat the other one, because Mum came in and caught me flossing with black wool and told me off. I can’t understand why.

What’s the point of a present if you can’t eat it?

Thanks again and I’m sorry that Mum stop me enjoying your present to the full.

Lots of licks
Mickey xx

Anita Loughrey and Jo Franklin. Photo by Christina Vinall

Glove now suitable for a human with a finger growing out of the back of their hand.

Hear? Here!

18th March 201515th May 2016Leave a comment

It’s really weird, most dog owners I meet in the park have a very limited range of vocabulary. They jabber away to their friends about totally unimportant things like the quality of the coffee at the park cafe and what happened to the man at number 63 when he was taken away in the ambulance, but when they come to speak to us dogs they only use the same few words.

A really common one is ‘SIT’. We all know what it means but in case there are a few humans reading this, let me demonstrate :

Bum on floor. Look interested.

The other word that is used in the park a lot is ‘HERE’. The problem is that humans don’t realise that ‘HERE’ is a relative term.

Let me explain.
If I’m in the park and there are no dogs to play with and the squirrels are in hiding and it’s raining and Mum says ‘HERE’ I hear her and head on over for roasted liver treat and an ear fondle and maybe a ball throw. She tells me I am the best dog in the world.

However if :

I am on the scent of this Class A Amazing Smelly Stuff that the park rangers put down on the football pitches to help the grass grow
And it’s totally fresh because they only did it this morning.
And it’s gone into these cute little cracks in the ground that the tractor has made.
And I can get my nose right in to sniff it but can’t actually get the Amazing Smelly Stuff out.
And it has been spread over the whole of two football pitches.
And there are concentrated blobs of Class A Amazing Smelly Stuff heaven at the corners of the football field where the tractor turned round

Then this is what happens :

I don’t hear ‘HERE’. I don’t hear anything. I don’t want a roasted liver treat or an ear fondle or to chase a ball. I want the ClassA Amazing Smelly Stuff. I want it NOW and I want it ALWAYS.

I don’t hear ‘HERE’ because I know Mum doesn’t mean ‘HERE’ she means ‘You are going on the lead and I am taking you home.’ But I only want ClassA Amazing Smelly Stuff so there is no way I am going near her.

Even if she tries sending another dog to distract me, I’m not interested. I want that Amazing Smelly Stuff and nothing else. It doesn’t matter how many times she shout’s ‘HERE’ – I’m not here-ing/hearing.

That’s what happened last week and Mum was cross with me.

This week I have been confined to the lead. Mum keeps saying ‘HERE’ to me and giving me a treat.

Of course I can hear her. She’s right next to me at the other end of the lead and the ClassA Amazing Smelly Stuff has gone now. So I gobble up my treats and look cute and hope that she will let me off the lead soon, because I really need to stretch my legs.

I totally do not have worms

14th March 201515th May 2016Leave a comment

Mum tricked me today. She asked me if I wanted a tasty treat. She made me sit nicely then she threw a biscuit and I jumped and caught it.
Big mistake!
It tasted of extra-mature broccoli with a swede and spinach coating. No dog with any taste buds would call that tasty. I spat it out.
‘You’ve got to eat it,’ Mum said. ‘It’s a worming tablet.’
‘I don’t have worms,’ I said.
Mum picked the tablet up and hid it in her hand. She reached out as if she wanted to fondle my ears, as if I was stupid. I ducked my head and darted round the back of the kitchen table.
‘Come on, Mickey, it’s good for you,’ she said as she came round the other side of the table to head me off.
‘I don’t have worms,’ I said.
She grabbed my collar and wrapped her arm around my head, crushing my ears with her arm pit. She prised open my jaws and tried to slip that disgusting thing onto my tongue.
‘I don’t have worms,’ I said as I spat out the tablet again.
‘What’s going on?’ Andrew said as he came into the kitchen.
‘Mickey’s got tape worm. I saw it in his poo this morning,’ Mum said.
I didn’t know what she was talking about.
‘What’s it look like?’ Andrew said.
‘A long thin white line of plastic, covered in dog poo,’ Mum said.
‘I don’t have worms,’ I said, but no one was listening. The humans carried on talking and Mum took a packet of Swedish Meatballs out of the fridge. Now they are tasty, but she spoiled it by shoving the worming tablet inside.
‘Mickey, here!’ Mum said waving the broccoli infested meatball in front of my nose.
I don’t have worms and I don’t like worming tablets but I took that meatball, rolled it around inside my mouth for a moment or two before spitting out the tablet and swallowing the meatball.
’Mickey!’ Mum sounded cross now.
I scooted round the back of the kitchen table to hide. If she could speak dog, she’d know I don’t like taking medicine unnecessarily. So I was just going to have to show her what I was on about.
Mum and Andrew were saying so many unkind things about me they didn’t notice me going over to the sink. I pulled open the cupboard, stuck my snout in the bin and came out with …

’What’s he got now?’ Andrew said.
’A pepperami wrapper and a pepperami condom, with long thin white plastic lines on it,’ Mum said with a sigh as she picked up the wrappers.
’I told you I don’t have worms,’ I said.
She must have heard me this time. She threw the worming tablet in the bin.
To reward her for her excellent behaviour, I leapt up and grabbed the spicy sausage flavoured plastic treat out of her other hand and swallowed it whole.
Yum!

The truth about me

13th March 201515th May 2016Leave a comment

My name is Mickey and I’m a Border Collie x Pointer or some other mixture. I’m about two years old according to my microchip, but my teeth are very good for my age, according to the vet, so no one knows the truth.

I live in London, but I came from Allsorts Dog Rescue near Brighton and before that I had a life that the humans are a bit vague about. I can’t remember either but it can’t have been too bad because I’m house trained and I don’t bite.

My forever family includes my mum – Jo, the author, my dad – Andrew, the cyclist, my step-sister – Eleanor (although she thinks she is also my mum but doesn’t look after me as well as Jo), and my reluctant step brother – Cedric. I’ve lived with them since June 2014.

Two cats live here too but they don’t like me much so I’ve never bothered being friends with them. I don’t know why they hate me because all I’ve ever done is try and play chase with them. Chase is the best game in the world and I can’t understand why they are so grumpy about it.

I’ve decided to write this blog to put my side of the story. I’m not mad. I’m just misunderstood. Hope you keep dropping by to see what I have to bark about.

My Writing Process – Third Draft

1st March 2015Leave a comment

The third draft should be easy. I’ve planned, I’ve edited, I’ve spotted and solved every problem. The comments from my agent tend to be minor and easy to fix. I should be able to do the third draft in a matter of days.
However sometimes my agent spots something more fundamental. If this is the case, I go back to first draft mindset and run through my whole writing process again.

My agent, Anne Clark, was an editor for many years. I respect her views and always try to address the issues she raises. She is the first professional editor to look at the manuscript but she is also my sales executive. She has to have total confidence in me and my work to be able to sell it.
We are a team. We work together to get my manuscript right enough to convince a publisher to publish it.

But luckily I don’t usually have to make too many changes to the third draft. I might add a line to strengthen a character or crank up the tension another notch.
And then I’m done. I’ve made every change I’m going to make at this stage, my To Do list is empty and I’m dying to work on something else for a change.
It’s time to hand my book over to Anne, who either forwards it to my publisher if the book is already under contract or she starts her process of submitting it to publishers hoping to find someone who loves it as much as we do. I try and forget all about that book and start pinning cards on the board to develop a new story

My Writing Process – Second Draft

5th February 2015Leave a comment

The second draft is where all the real work happens. My first draft has been left to gather dust while my brain has been focused on something else, but I can’t put it off any longer. I choose a day when I’m not going to be interrupted and I read my printed out first draft straight through.
I’m not interested in the punctuation or vocabulary at this stage. I might mark a paragraph with ‘Extend’ or ‘Cut’ or ‘Dragging here’.
I also add things to my To Do list.

It’s a weird mixture of research points I need to check (I try not to interrupt my first draft by browsing the internet), reminders of things to check over all – 40 illustrations is the number of illustrations the publisher has budgeted for – and nitty gritty stuff like how I refer to the competition in the story – National Brainiac Championship Final.
Often it has more scribble than typed out notes, although if it gets to the point that I can’t read my own writing, I’ll type it all out afresh.

If I feel the book is dragging, normally in the first half, I print it out in small font and lay it out on the floor and mark the chapters that need condensing. If I’m lucky someone helps me.
I find looking at the manuscript as a whole, rather than the words on the page, allows me to be more subjective and therefore more brutal with my axe.
If the beginning part of the novel is dragging, then I need less pages. I don’t argue with Louie the editing cat because I’m working with the door open now. If something needs changing, I change it. I go back to my cards on the board (see my blog post on planning) and work out which cards to pull down or condense into less chapters. I often find the flabbiness has crept in because I ignored my plot outline and wrote a few extra chapters I hadn’t planned. But I needed to write those chapters to make certain points. So I try and work out how to make those points in less chapters so I can get back to the lean book I wanted to write.

Now it’s time to start writing the second draft.
On the first day I work on the first chapter. On the second day I look at Chapter One and Two. Day Three – Chapter One, Two and Three. On the fourth day I don’t bother working on Chapter One any more.
I work through the book working on three chapters at a time. I’m on the computer now. If I need to write anything more than a sentence, I go back to pen and paper. Sometimes I’m cutting and sometimes I’m adding. The word count doesn’t change that much, but the story becomes clearer and stronger.
Once I’ve worked on some of the early chapters, I share my work with my critique buddies. These writers are some of my closest friends. We share our work and share our thoughts on our work. I reflect on what they say and then adjust my work again until the second draft is finished. The second draft takes months rather than weeks. For me, it is the hardest part of the process.
When I’m done, I send the manuscript to my agent and then it’s time for the third draft.

My Writing Process – First Draft

4th February 2015Leave a comment

I prefer to write my first draft longhand, in A5 notebooks. The handwriting is illegible. The pages are scruffy and full of crossings out full of half finished sentences with not much punctuation. The most important thing is to get it written not get it right. It feels fantastic when I’ve finished a chapter and I don’t have the energy to write another crazy jumble of words. So I type up what I have written, adding a few full stops and commas but not much else.
Stephen King, the great horror writer, describes the first draft as ‘writing with the door shut’. No one else is going to see what I’ve written so I can write anything.

I feel good when I’ve finished a chapter, but I feel ecstatic when I’ve finished the book. This is a very dangerous time for me. I am invincible. I have written the best book ever. I am going to be more successful than JK Rowling.

I am totally deluded.

I don’t need anyone to confirm my delusions. I don’t show my first draft to anyone. I print it off, file it away and go and work on something else for a while.

The first draft is my way of ensuring that the story hangs together. That it is ‘enough’. That I have enough characters, enough action, enough theme, enough subplot.

I’m dressing the skeleton I created in the planning stage in loose fitting clothing and I’m the only one who thinks it looks beautiful.

It’s only in the second draft that I make my skeleton something I can share with others.

My Writing Process – Planning

1st February 2015Leave a comment

I like to plan my work because it stops me worrying about where I am going. I only need to concentrate on how to get there.
I like to kick an idea about in the back of my head for a few weeks/months/years before I start scribbling notes down. Character notes, snatches of dialogue, a first stab at a first chapter, how it’s going to end.
When I feel I’ve got the basis of a story, I write a few words for each ‘chapter’ on a card and pin it on the plot wall in front of my desk.

I’m not really sure if each card will end up being a chapter, but I put them up in the order that the story progresses. I spend ages staring at the wall of cards, rearranging them, adding new ones until I think I’m done.
Next I write the story out in a page or two. This document will one day turn into the synopsis that my agent will use to sell my story. If I find it difficult to explain what is happening on the cards (and in my brain) then I realise I’ve got a problem with the story which needs to be fixed.
I work between my written synopsis and my cards on the wall until I feel happy that everything hangs together. If my agent agrees and I decide to go ahead with writing the book, I create my control document.
This consists of a To Do List (which is blank at this stage) followed by a detailed chapter by chapter plot outline. This document is for my use only.

Here’s an example from Help I’m a Genius. This one has got scrawled additions to it. I probably wrote them after I’d finished the second draft and before I started the third.
The first line of Chapter 5 reads ’He’s going to humiliate himself. It’s going to be torture.’ That was probably the words I had written on the card on the wall. I’ve added ‘He feels left out’. It’s important I know how my character is feeling at this point and I want the reader to have maximum sympathy for him. I then go on to describe what sort of things are going to happen in this chapter. His sister has got another tap dancing certificate, his baby brother has a sticker from nursery. Dan has nothing to celebrate. Hopefully the reader is now feeling ‘Poor Dan!’
Then Dad drops the bombshell. He has a new job in another country. The whole family are going to have to move to America.
In my plot outline I try and make sure every chapter ends on a cliffhanger, a joke or a dilemma.
I now have my story in three different formats – cards on the wall, synopsis and plot outline. By using different formats, I see my story from different angles. The story has a shape rather than being a jumble of thoughts.
When I’m done – usually after a few weeks – I’ll start writing. Next step – First Draft.